The Constant Observer
by smile123
Summary: Alice had paid special attention to Lily the second her and Severus Snape had taken the compartment across from hers on the Hogwarts Express during first year. There was something about their friendship that intrigued Alice more than anything else.


Disc- i dont own anything

Hey! Okay so i am going to be really honest, i dont actually like this very much. it was a little something different and i had sudden inspiration. if you like though, thats GREAT...im just not a huge fan...ive written better oneshots. read and review anyways so i have other opinions!!

if this is hard to read b.c i didnt split up the paragraphs, let me know and i can fix that

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Alice had paid special attention to Lily the second her and Severus Snape had taken the compartment across from hers on the Hogwarts Express during first year

Alice had paid special attention to Lily the second her and Severus Snape had taken the compartment across from hers on the Hogwarts Express during first year. There was something about their friendship that intrigued Alice more than anything else. Maybe it was how close they obviously were before they even got to Hogwarts. Maybe it was the way Severus looked at her as if Lily meant the world to him. Maybe it was the hint of regret in Lily's big green eyes hidden behind her excitement as the train pulled away and she stared out the window.

Alice soon realized why this friendship seemed so peculiar. Snape was sorted into Slytherin while Lily was welcomed into Gryffindor with Alice. It clearly, however, did not matter to Lily that she was in the house of the brave when Snape was pronounced Slytherin. Alice looked around and realized that she was the only one who saw the longing in Lily's eyes as Snape walked over to the opposite end of the room slumped over, his long greasy hair covering his face from her view.

When Alice and Lily became best friends, Alice knew more than Lily would ever know. She took note of the way Lily and Snape still met up after dinner everyday, how Lily was always sure that he was at a meal. Alice saw the sadness in Lily's eyes when Severus was sitting alone at meals day after day for the whole year. Alice was impressed when Lily stood up for Snape and how she looked at Potter like he was the filthiest thing she had ever seen because he made fun of Severus. Alice was also a little disappointed because she knew that Severus Snape and Lily Evans were the closest friends in their year and Alice wished it was her.

During second year Alice saw nothing change between the pair. She saw Snape look at Lily as if she created the world and Lily completely look past it. As Alice and Lily got closer Lily would try to explain to Alice that he is not what everyone thinks he is. She always told Alice that the Sorting Hat made a mistake when they put 'Sev' in Slytherin. Alice always replied that the Sorting Hat did not make mistakes, that it could kind of see the future, the kind of person Severus might turn out to be. Lily got mad at Alice once, screaming at her that Snape would never become the filth that Lucius Malfoy already is, that James Potter is much closer to a wizard who uses dark magic than Snape is. Lily was Alice's best friend, and because of that, Alice was forced to believe her.

Alice once asked Lily how she could stand the pressure of being friends with him. How she didn't crack when people made fun of her, why she has never given up, why she isn't ashamed of Snape. Lily had simply said she had seen Snape at his worst as well as at his best, that she saw past his shabby life style and poorly washed hair ,and because she did that, she saw the person he really was, not the one people assumed he was. That is when she realized how well Lily knew Snape and what a good friend she really was.

At the beginning of third year I asked Lily if she liked Snape as more than a friend. She looked absolutely and truly repulsed. She told me that she knows way too much about Severus to ever think of him like that. That night I finally found out how Lily and Severus meet. After her story, all of the sudden I understood why Lily considered me one of her best friends. Severus might be who Lily confides in, who she talks about her hopes and dreams with, but Alice was guaranteed to always be by Lily's side, and Lily couldn't say that for Severus. Severus was also from Lily's past, they became friends because he seemed to understand Lily, not because Lily really liked the idea of being around him. Then she was friends with him to spite Petunia, to prove her wrong. After that Lily got used to having him around and learned to love his friendship. He stuck up for her when Petunia was making fun of her, Severus made Lily feel normal, Lily made Severus feel loved, so they stuck together. Alice and Lily were friends because their personalities went well together, because they brought out the best in each other, and looked after one another.

One really hot spring day, after dinner, Alice was looking for Lily. She saw Severus's long black hair and long nose in a cold and dusty room. She walked over, and in getting closer, saw that he was holding a picture of Lily from when she was very young. It was a muggle- taken picture, but Lily looked absolutely gorgeous standing on top of a playground, grinning and her bright green eyes shining. Snape was trailing her lips with his finger and looking at her longingly, as if she was the only thing he could see. He seemed to snap out of his trance. In seeing Alice his face turned a shade of pink and she asked if he knew where Lily is. He looked at Alice with his panic- stricken eyes, said no, and pleaded her not to tell anyone what she had seen. Since then, Alice saw a change in Severus. He didn't look at Lily as if she had created the Wizarding world, he had a smirk on his face much more often than a smile, and he denied being friends with Lily to some of his friends.

Then, Snape started hanging out with Avery and Muliciber much more than Lily would have liked. She pretended it didn't bother her, she said that he could choose his friends, that she was not in charge of him. That is, until they played a prank on Lily's friend, Mary, because she was a muggle-born. That night Lily came into their dorm looking frustrated and angry. In being asked about it she told Alice that Severus was taking advantage of the fact that Lily cared about him. She wouldn't say anymore. Snape quickly apologized and begged for forgiveness from Lily, which she gave to him. The familiar sparkle of regret, however, soon returned in Lily's eyes when she saw Severus sitting with Avery. She pretended to be happy that Snape wasn't alone, but Alice was knew than that.

When they came back for fourth year, something about their friendship had shifted. The pair saw each other once a week instead of once a day. They would simply wave when they saw each other in the hallways, not stop and have a conversation. Alice soon saw that Snape was still in love with her, but just learned how to hide it because his friends could probably figure him out if they tried. Alice wanted to know the reason for this transition, but it had happened over the summer where Alice couldn't observe them. The house rivalries seemed to be getting to the pair. They seemed to be ashamed to be seen with eachother, to say that the other was one of their best friends. Snapes friends got more advanced in the magic they used in their 'harmless pranks' and Lily hated this. She would get mad at him, and Alice would see his wall collapse, how her opinion meant everything to him, she saw that he would give up all of his friends,and the reputation he had created as long as he had Lily.

Alice knew the friends better than they knew themselves. It could almost be said that they were an obsession, but they weren't, she just cared. Alice was drawn to Snape's loneliness and Lily's constant feeling of regret. She had wanted to know from the beginning what tied these two friends, these two feelings together. She knew the friends better than they knew themselves because she cared what happened to them, how they were feeling, if they were having a bad day. Alice never hated Snape, she never thought he was a terrible person because he was in Slytherin, but she couldn't stand his attitude. His obsession with Lily was obvious, so obvious Alice wondered how Lily missed it. The way he walked around acting as if he thought he was the best, even though he didn't, and everyone knew it. Snape never made sense to Alice, but Lily did. Lily was the most down to earth person Alice knew, she was logical and sensible, and that's what Alice loved about her. Alice knew this was the reason Severus was friends with her. She knew that Snape had a bad past, a bad family, and she was pretty sure that Lily was the only thing that made sense to him at one point, so he stuck with her.

When fifth year came, Alice didn't have the time to 'obsess,' she was busy with her studies and her life. She knew that the pair were still friends, that they continued to talk about the most serious things, that Lily still deeply cared for Severus, that he was just as in love with her, if not more. Fifth year people started to really question Lily. At this point, they should have moved on from some childhood fling, some friendship that they couldn't let go of. Other people besides Alice became curious as to why they stuck together. Lily got asked by many other members of the Gryffindor house why she was still friends with Snape. She generally dodged the questions, saying that he was a friend, and that houses didn't matter to them. Snape's friends didn't take him as seriously as they should have, he didn't completely fit in with Muliciber and Avery because he was friends with a Gryffindor. The pressure mounted, and Lily would sometimes talk to Alice about her frustration. She would ask Alice why people cared about her and Snape, why it mattered to them that they were friends, why they didn't just leave her alone. Alice never knew what to say, after all, she was one of 'them,' Lily just didn't know it. She also talked about her frustrations with Severus's friends, how they would pull terrible pranks on people, how their idea of fun was cruel, how the magic they used was like nothing she had ever seen, nothing they had ever learned about.

And then O.W.L.s came. Tension mounted everywhere because fifth years were studying, stressing, and so were seventh years. Lily took this as an excuse to get away from the constant questions, to get away from Severus, saying she had to study. Alice was smarter though, and knew that Lily needed to get away, that the pressure of having a friend in the most exclusive group of Slytherins was finally getting to her. After O.W.L.s, however, Lily was noticeably happier to be able to talk to Severus again, just showing their attachment to each other. The night after O.W.L.s, though, Lily came up to their dorm looking very angry. When Alice asked what happened Lily screamed for half an hour about how she was done with Severus, how she would never speak to him again, about how he was the filthy one, how she should have known it would come to _this_. Lily pretended for weeks that she was fine, that she was simply angry, and nothing more.

But there were nights when she forgot to put the silencing charm around her bed and Alice heard her softly crying in the late hours of the night. Alice saw Severus one day come up to Lily asking for forgiveness, saying that he didn't mean anything by what he had called her. Lily struggled to keep her wall up, she struggled to show Severus only her anger, not her sadness, not her regret. Lily was in an everlasting battle, it seemed, to be strong when she was really very weak, very alone. Alice knew that this was something that came from deep within Lily, something Lily would have to get over alone, a battle that she could win, it would just be very hard. It soon became old news for Hogwarts, but not for the pair, not for Alice. Severus dug himself into a hole. He would be with his friends, but he would never laugh, never smile, never smirk. Alice once saw him in a broom closet, holding the same picture of Lily as a child, tears running off of his face, onto the photo as he apologized over and over again to the innocent Lily. Alice was the only one to know that he would never get over his love for Lily, that he would never move on, that he would never be happy again. Alice saw him turn into the cold man that would soon work for Voldemort, she saw him break inside every time he saw Lily, but Alice kept to herself, respecting his wishes, never telling anyone what she ever saw.

Sixth year came and Lily was over Severus, she had moved on, been refreshed and was ready to start anew, as herself who was friends with Alice, not Severus Snape. In December she and Marcus Redding dated. She was very happy with her boyfriend, and would talk about how he complimented her and made her feel good about herself. Alice started dating Frank a few months earlier, and knew that Lily and Marcus would never last, but also that it was good for Lily to learn who she was in a relationship, what it meant to care about someone in that different way. During the summer before, however, James Potter had developed an extreme obsession with Lily. He would ask her to Hogsmead and bother her constantly. Potter stared at Lily through all of their lessons and asked Lily to come and watch him play Quidditch, but she always turned him down, always despising the attention he brought to her. When Lily and Marcus started dating the Marauders were always pulling pranks on Marcus and his friends and trying to make Marcus look ridiculous to Lily, but it never worked, she was smarter than that. As Alice expected Lily and Marcus broke up in the middle of January, both saying that they were no longer attracted to the other in a romantic way.

After the break up Alice saw an interesting change in Lily. She was much more confident, sure of herself, until James Potter would come around to bother her, and Alice would see her visibly weaken. Alice was obviously the only one that noticed Lily's weakening, except maybe James, who seemed to know exactly when to take advantage of Lily's change. Frank was good friends with the Marauders and in spending more time around them, Alice came to know that James legitimately adored Lily, that it was not an act, not a childish crush. Alice saw many of the traits in James that she saw in Frank, and because of this, she gained respect for him and became one of those who encouraged Lily to take advantage of James's apparent adoration of her. In April Lily and Marcus started up again, surprising even Alice. It didn't make sense why, they had remained friends after their breakup, but were never very close, never spent that much time together. This time they lasted a little longer, had a little bit of a more serious relationship where they fought, made-up, and went to Hogsmead alone. This was one of the first things Alice never understood about Lily and her relationships with others. She knew that James and Lily fought all the time, that Lily really did not like him. She understood Lily and Severus all through their friendship, and then Marcus came along, and Alice was truly stumped. She expected that they had gotten back together because they truly had an attraction for each other that other people just did not see, but Alice could never be sure. Lily broke up with Marcus in late May, saying that they wouldn't last through the summer and that her feelings for him really had left this time. Marcus had felt differently, but this did not stop Lily from breaking it off.

Lily came back from summer break and, for once, had not changed one bit. She was exactly the same as when she had left Hogwarts and seemed determined to make her last year at Hogwarts her best. She had been appointed Head Girl, and James became her Head Boy. Potter took full advantage of their situation and eventually persuaded Lily to one very short date to Hogsmead in November. She had excepted only to make him go away she said, so that she could tell him that she had given him his chance. Alice, however, was not surprised when Lily came back from her date and had secretly said that she had had an amazing time with James. Potter had, apparently, been a gentleman and was not in the least bit annoying. After that date, everything changed. Lily pretended not to have feelings for him, she had told the other people in their dorm that she just liked him as a friend, that she had given him his chance and realized that he was not so bad, but that she had no feelings for him. However, Lily was absolutely terrible at hiding physically how she truly felt about James when he was around. James officially found her soft spot for him, and was enjoying every minute of torturing her. Lily told stories of how he would inch closer to her, and then say he had to go finish and essay for one of his classes, how he would tease her constantly. It made sense that after he had been tortured for so long, that when Lily finally liked James, he would make her suffer some too. Alice simply told her to wait, and sure enough, James had planned a surprise for Lily on Christmas. James had not asked anyone to the Christmas Ball and made sure that no one else asked Lily until he did on the morning before the Ball. They went together and finally kissed when going for a walk during the Ball.

James loved Lily for her. Her perfume, her hair, her eyes, her freckles, her bad mood, her temper and her logic were only some of the things James loved about her. James and Lily went steady, and Alice was sure she had never seen Lily happier in the entire seven years she had known her. It didn't matter to James that Lily had hated him for a good five years, and had not given him a chance until November of their seventh year. All that mattered to him was that he had Lily. That sounded familiar. James would give almost anything to make Lily happy, to see her smile, and hear her laugh. He drank every part of her up and she loved being his princess. Alice was elated that Lily had found her Frank, that they were both in love, how they understood what the other was going through, what the other was feeling.

For seven long years Alice Berlap had been Lily Evan's constant. She had watched Lily's every move, and simply understood her. Alice was there to listen to what Lily loved and hated about Severus Snape, what she liked about Marcus Redding, what she hated and loved about James Potter. She was also there to observe that James Potter loved her from the train ride to first year, that Severus Snape would never stop loving her, and that Lily did not know half of the things about her own life that Alice did.

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TELLL MEE review review review. PLEASE! thanks for reading.

xoxx,

Mer


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